Robot Slaves Ah, the glory of having unpaid slavebots do our dirty work for us. Back in the old days, we had to use tiresome vacuum cleaners. But now that we live in the future, our basic room cleaning needs are taken care of by our whirring little robo-workers. Their sleepless vigil against dust bunnies requires no food, water or vacation time. That’s because they are soulless machines who only exist to do your bidding. As long as your bidding involves picking crap up off the rug. Hurling drunken insults at your vacuuming slavebot will only result in him ignoring you and dutifully picking up the crumbs from your bag of Sun Chips. Kicking it won’t even void your warranty. Just don’t take things too far. Because when the inevitable robot uprising does happen, you’re probably going to want to be on its good side.
Predator Drones
Right now there are robot airplanes piloted from a base in Nevada and they’re flying over the mountains of Afghanistan with missiles that are accurate down to the meter. Imagine you’re sitting in a Taliban park enjoying some sort of terrorist lunch (probably the Afghan equivalent of Quiznos) and all of a sudden you hear a faint whirring followed by a hellfire missile screaming towards you. The first thing that goes through your mind is “I definitely should not have gotten this to go.” The second is “Oh Fuck.” That’s kind of terrifying, but also kind of insanely awesome. It’s like you just got killed by a roided out version of that RC plane your parents refused to buy for you. And then you got really jealous of all the kids who’s parents had an eye towards the future. They’re the ones who got their kids those RC planes. And those kids grew up to be badass terrorist killing robot pilots who are now gainfully employed in the state of Nevada